I hate when people ask me a question, then don’t even bother to listen to my answer for one second! Like why even waste the air.
So what follows is basically a really long Facebook status. lol
For some odd reason
I’ve been getting triggered a lot lately, meaning just seeing a word or story will give me unpleasant flashbacks. It makes me realize I still (STILLLL and always) have things to work on. I have a habit of minimizing my problems (it’s not that bad, nbd) but I’m also super sensitive, as if y’all didn’t know that hahaha, which I don’t like about myself but at the same time it makes me a good listener, compassionate, and all that jazz, which I do like. What I SHOULD do is allow myself to feel some type of way and work through it. I thought I was okay but I’m not right now. And that’s okay. In the end everything’s ok and if it’s not okay then it’s not the end.
Mantra of 2018: “THIS IS FINE. EVERYTHING’S FINE.” *chaos continues to ensue* lol
One reason, well the main reason I haven’t been writing as much is because I’ve found a different way to express myself. By like, actually talking to people! Which for me is huge because it used to be such a struggle and still is, having a million words racing through my mind but never able to find a voice. It’s still difficult but I’m so glad it’s way easier now than it used to be. It’s takes practice, effort, and work as I think everything in life does.
Ok ok don’t worry about me. Another reason I write less is because I’m happy and I don’t have much to write furiously about. Nobody wants to read about how happy I am lol but in case you do! Everything’s pretty great. I’m just going through a day. I haven’t been drinking much caffeine and today I’ve had too much and now I’m up at “tweaker hours” overthinking ish.
There’s a fine line between overthinking and reflecting, and I love reflecting! So I guess it’s self-evaluation time!
When I first started this blog, it was to help me get the ropes of being a first-time mom to my precious newborn, Liliana. Now this girl is 3-going-on-4. If you follow me on social media, then you know she’s so happy, social, and energetic, the opposite of me hahaha jk, kinda. I love her! So yeah now that she’s older, it’s easier. (No more diapers!) Watching her grow every day is bittersweet, more sweet of course.
The sad part is you never get time back. But it’s exciting and amazing to see how she learns and becomes her own person.
Kids say the darndest things. They casually drop wisdom that makes you say, “Huh. Never thought of it that way, but you righ.”
She still cries about once a day. In a way it helps remind me she IS still a baby. My baby. It’s very rewarding to be able to comfort her though. She’ll usually cry if she’s overwhelmed with emotion and doesn’t know what to do with it. Today I realized that’s how I was feeling and was able to empathize with her.
She LOVES swimming. She’s liked dancing since before she learned how to stand up. She liked riding her bike too, but for some reason lately she’s been scared. That’s another thing about kids: one day they’ll be into something, the next they ain’t bout that life at all. Like with different kinds of food.
3-4 is a fun age. We’re kinda coastin’ right now compared to when she was smaller. She’s potty-trained (makes a big difference once they learn, at their own pace of course) and impressively articulate. I tell moms if their baby is acting up, a lot of the time it’s because they understand so much but don’t know how to communicate everything yet. Looking back on this post, that’s pretty much what I said about myself hahaha. Trust me it’s frustrating 😂
Anyway I should prob go. Thanks for reading, to the two people who made it this far
I need everybody to read more
K thanks yall. Idk, always feel free to talk to me if you want! Don’t slide in my dms tho cuz that would be a waste of your time. I mean leave a comment or something. I do love catching up with friends and I don’t hear from y’all enough!
Randomly enough, here’s my favorite song right now ❤️ Never heard of either of these artists until I stumbled upon this song on Spotify. If you have any recommendations for something similar, let me know.
Latest books I read:
Celeste Ng’s bestselling novels Little Fires Everywhere and Everything I Never Told You
Both set in suburban Ohio (around the 1990s and 1970s respectively), these books revolve around family secrets and definitely take a look at what it’s like to be “other” in a cookie-cutter town. As I was reading, everything seemed normal… it’s not a thriller in any way… and yet, the emotions could get intense. Would recommend.
PAGES READ: 3,387 out of my 5K goal for the year! Yes I started on January 1. I think I’m at a good pace. It ends up being about two books a month.
I’ve seen every Marvel/MCU movie, and I say this one is worth watching just for the post-credits scene. Other cool aspects: The villain and the adventure!
Liked this better than Incredibles 2, easily! Incredibles was good too, but HT3 kept both of us more entertained. Okay, Lili and I love all the Hotel Transylvania movies, and this was my favorite of the three because it takes place on a cruise rather than in the hotel. And the music always slaps haha
I haven’t seen this movie yet, but I want to include it because it’s 100% Bay Area, in particular Oakland. The directors are from the bay, it’s set in the bay, and it’s all about the problems we face here in the bay. The directors are also poets, so from what I know much of the script is actually written in verse. Isn’t that cool??
Okay, I know this post was long-winded, so thanks for hanging in there! Again feel free to leave a comment about anything under the sun, or from a past life, or in your head… peacee